In all the time I’ve known you, I’m not sure whether I’ve mentioned that my brother and sister-in-law adopted, a beautiful baby girl from China. She is going to be 10 next month, or is that 11, I am losing track. She is a blessing to the whole family, including her extended family.

Claudia

When we began adoption, we almost became the new parents of a five-year-old little girl. Her mother was dying of cancer and was desperately trying to find her daughter a home before she, the mother, died. She picked us, but at the last minute, a distant relative was found.

We were disappointed? Yes, of course. But we were relieved that the little girl’s mother could die in peace knowing her daughter was taken care of.

Our son had no more options. It was over for him if we didn’t step in, because of the ignorance of the other couples contacted.

These are the children I speak of.

To say adoption in the US is unnatural is perhaps overstating? There was nothing unnatural about my son’s adoption, and he was not “sold” to us. He was entrusted to us and we stepped in when no one else would. And in doing so, we have found more happiness than we could have believed possible.

And, by the way, we have not received a dime. Not a cent. We have spent thousands and thousands of dollars in surgeries, therapy and special schooling, because we love our son with all of our hearts. Our son ENTRUSTED to us. Not sold.

One caveat: Adoption, as it is practiced in the US today, is NOT natural.

Adoption in this country unnecessarily and permanently severs chidlren from their family of origins, including siblings, and disconnects them from former foster families that may have been a loving part of their lives.

We can far better. We can better use tax dollars and other resources to work to rehabilitate families; to find extended family and help them financially and otherwise to care for their now; to do far better for chidlren that “age out” of “the system”; and to stop the wholesale SALE of healthy infants domestically and internationally in the name of adoption that is supported by tax incentives under the guide of helping special needs adoptions without distinguishing between the two.

Mirah Riben,
author “The Stork Market: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry”